A letter to my kids on Mother’s Day 2014

Geoff Captain Photography

This is an open (apology) letter to my three kids on Mother’s Day 2014. 

My first 

Sixteen years ago I was VERY pregnant with my first child, a daughter. I was 1,200 miles away from my mother and celebrating the last Mother’s Day ever as a childless woman. I was scared out of my mind at the mother I would be to this little girl. Let me clear this up right away, I had (and still have) a great role model in my mother. She is so giving and selfless that I admire all she did for us kids growing up and most of it as a single mom. But on Mother’s 

Day 1997 I was freaking out! Soon I would have a baby girl who would be looking up to me and there was no way that could be a good idea. Anyone who knows me, knows that I’m not the kind of mom little girls would look up to.  Three days after Mother’s Day I became a mom for the first time. There was a love for that baby girl that I had never felt before. It was on that day that I apologized for the first time. I knew that I would make mistakes and that I would not make a good “Girlie” role model for this little one. I was right. As she grew, she liked dolls and makeup and dancing and “doing hair” all the things I hated as a child. I was not off to a good start.

Small World Selfie w/ kid #2

In 2000 I was blessed with another daughter, and I apologized again. This daughter was even more girlie than the first...and I thought that was impossible. Oh how wrong I was.  There was no way I could keep up with Dora and My Little Pony and Barbie! As they grew there were dresses and makeup and and hair bands and I was as lost as a mom could be. I relied on the teenage neighbor girls (now moms themselves) to help out with “girlie play” and they were great with the girls! I was grateful to my mom, sister, sister-in-laws and best friend, all who took the girls shopping and for manicures and to get their hair done.

As the years passed I tried to introduce sports to the girls, t-ball then soccer but that didn’t work out so well. They did Hip Hop dance, girl scouts and drama club. (sigh)

Silly mommy

Fast forward to 2008 and our girls got a brother! I quickly realized that I’d need to apologize to this kid as well. Why? you might ask? Well because now I’m older and have less energy than I did when the girls were little. He gets the tired mom. The mom that works too much. The mom that has to drive the sisters around to parties, play practice, the beach, and friends houses. The girls think he is spoiled (so I have to apologize for that) even though they were just as spoiled, they just can’t remember.

Boston fun

So here is my formal apology to my kids: Kids, I’m sorry you got stuck with me. I’m not girlie and I’m very rarely super serious. I’m sarcastic and I’ll most likely embarrass you all the time. I’ll sing in the car (loudly), even if your friends are in it. I’ll post pictures of you and the funny things you do or say on Facebook. I’ll not be able or willing to buy you everything you want or ask for and I’m ok with that. I’ll say “NO” sometimes and you won’t understand why or be happy about it, but I’ll have my reasons and you’ll just have to accept that. I don’t care what your friends get to do; my house my rules. I expect you to always do your best and I’ll be disappointed if you don’t. I’ll get mad at you sometimes. I’ll make mistakes, but so will you, so we will forgive each other.

I will apologize for this stuff I mentioned here and for tons of other stuff I can’t think of now, but I’m sure will resurface when you are older and yelling at your own kids for something….

Crazy Mom/Auntie

I’m sorry you got stuck with me….BUT KNOW THIS: I’m NOT sorry for the unending love I have for you. I’m not sorry for all the nights I laid awake waiting for your fever to break. I’m not sorry for punishing you when you really needed to learn a lesson, even though I cried when you weren’t looking, because it was difficult for me too. I am not sorry that I tell you I love you as much as I can and I’m not sorry that I hug you in public. I’m not sorry I tell you to "make good choices" (in my best Jamie Lee Curtis impression...that is not good at all) because I really mean it.

As Mother’s Day comes each year, I know I’m not the best mom in the world and will never come close. I don’t like flowers and I’m bad at cards and hoopla. All I want is to hang with my kids and to laugh with them. That is the best gift I could ever want and I am not sorry I asked for it.

Thanks for being my kids!

I love you all!

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